I love my husband's parents. I don't like calling them my "in-laws" - just has a negative connotation to it. They're in town for the weekend and we always stay up talking and laughing. Last night, they wanted me to read this:
The Miracle of Toilet Paper
Fresh from my shower, I stand in front of the mirror complaining to my husband that my breasts are too small. Instead of characteristically telling me it's not so, he uncharacteristically comes up with a suggestion.
"If you want yuor breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet paper and rub it between them for a few seconds."
Willing to try anything, I fetch a piece of toilet paper and stand in front of the mirror, rubbing it between my breasts. How long will this take?" I asked.
"They will grow larger over a period of years," my husband replies.
I stopped. "Do you really think rubbing a piece
of toilet paper between my breasts every day will make my breasts larger over the years?"
Without missing a beat he says, "Worked for your butt, didn't it?"
He's still alive, and with a great deal of therapy,
he may even walk again.
Stupid, stupid man.
I almost peed my pants.
Photo by Mike O'Neill
The Miracle of Toilet Paper
Fresh from my shower, I stand in front of the mirror complaining to my husband that my breasts are too small. Instead of characteristically telling me it's not so, he uncharacteristically comes up with a suggestion.
"If you want yuor breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet paper and rub it between them for a few seconds."
Willing to try anything, I fetch a piece of toilet paper and stand in front of the mirror, rubbing it between my breasts. How long will this take?" I asked.
"They will grow larger over a period of years," my husband replies.
I stopped. "Do you really think rubbing a piece
of toilet paper between my breasts every day will make my breasts larger over the years?"
Without missing a beat he says, "Worked for your butt, didn't it?"
He's still alive, and with a great deal of therapy,
he may even walk again.
Stupid, stupid man.
I almost peed my pants.
Photo by Mike O'Neill
4 comments:
an oldie, but a goodie!!!!
I had never heard it before. I laughed - a lot.
I've never heard that one before either...that is FUNNY!! And if my husband did say that to me, he knows he would be in a HEAP of trouble.....my goodness. :)
My thoughts exactly!! I just read it again - and I still laugh ;)
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