Friday, August 21, 2009

Toilet Paper

I love my husband's parents. I don't like calling them my "in-laws" - just has a negative connotation to it. They're in town for the weekend and we always stay up talking and laughing. Last night, they wanted me to read this:

The Miracle of Toilet Paper
Fresh from my shower, I stand in front of the mirror complaining to my husband that my breasts are too small. Instead of characteristically telling me it's not so, he uncharacteristically comes up with a suggestion.

"If you want yuor breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet paper and rub it between them for a few seconds."

Willing to try anything, I fetch a piece of toilet paper and stand in front of the mirror, rubbing it between my breasts. How long will this take?" I asked.

"They will grow larger over a period of years," my husband replies.

I stopped. "Do you really think rubbing a piece
of toilet paper between my breasts every day will make my breasts larger over the years?"

Without missing a beat he says, "Worked for your butt, didn't it?"

He's still alive, and with a great deal of therapy,
he may even walk again.

Stupid, stupid man.

I almost peed my pants.
Toilet Paper Pyramid by Pygo.
Photo by Mike O'Neill


lisa thomas said...

an oldie, but a goodie!!!!

Grace said...

I had never heard it before. I laughed - a lot.

Rebekah said...

I've never heard that one before either...that is FUNNY!! And if my husband did say that to me, he knows he would be in a HEAP of goodness. :)

Grace said...

My thoughts exactly!! I just read it again - and I still laugh ;)